Between Us

I was thinking. Yeah, thinking the same person, over and over again.
I know it sounds crazy but, yeah, I admit it.

I admit it that I loved—no. I do love him.

I am a type of person that hard to forget someone's mistakes. Well, maybe it sounds selfish but the mistakes that I meant is when the person did the same mistakes over and over again to me. I was trying to avoid him, to leave him, to knock him down but in the end—I forgave him.

"Whoa that's so kind of you," well, guys, maybe you can say so. But the reason is... I love him too much.
Well, sounds silly but I admit it. 

He has apologized to me and deep inside my heart, I still couldn't forgive him. But... I don't know why I could say this in the end, "That's alright. We're friends, right?"

He said that he knew that I don't want to lose him. And how surprised I was when he said,

"...and, I want to make your feelings bigger,"

Damn! Those butterflies came again to my stomach. I couldn't deny it.. I couldn't refuse those kind of feelings anymore. It's still the same. It's still the same just like the first time I like him.

Now, he already has a girlfriend. Sometimes the jealous feelings come to me, but, I have to accept it and now I'm okay with it. I have no problem about it.

Well, I hope I can say this to him someday, that I really love him. But I just can't.
I am afraid of rejection, and now isn't a good time to say this.

I hope, me and him won't fight anymore.

I love him—and I always will.