A-Year-Post-of-Me

Hello readersssss!!!!! Whoa, it's been a long long loooong time for me for not posting something here in my blog. How are you? I hope you guys are doing fine. I've been busy with college's stuffs, and I have lots to tell you guys. I want to share everything happened to me lately. (I guess it will be a long post!)

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Um, well. Right now I am in the 3rd term, and in the March 2015, my 4th term will get started. I feel nervous and excited at the same time! Because I'm sure that I'll be way busier than I am now. I'll get my IELTS preparation on March. This is my first step to reach my dreams. I hope I'll get a good score so it will make me easier to apply scholarship abroad. Wish me luck!





In my 3rd term, I was busy with my TV campus' stuffs. It made me so exhausted yet it's so fun. I was on an artistic and decoration team. Me and my other 4 friends were made backgrounds and decoration to an entertainment program. You can see my team's result here in my instagram. What do you think of our hard work? Let me know! ^^

I was accepted as a member of my TV campus. But sadly, I have to resign. I don't feel like I can get through this rhythm, remembering I will get my IELTS preparation soon. Besides, I am that kind of person who not really good on mingling (and remembering people's faces, of course), and I am so easily bored on something which is done routinely. I just resigned from my TV campus yesterday. It was so hard for me personally, because I have to talk with my seniors about my choice. And I am happy that they appreciated my choice to choose education as my priority, even though I was kinda feel guilty about myself because I have to throw the chance that has been given to me to feel how the TV campus is. Well, everything has its consequences, right? If you were me, what are you gonna do? Will you do the same as I did?

Anyway, I've been living here in Jogja for a year, and I realized that I live alone here, which means I have to be wiser, not childish. I was confronted by so many hard choices to choose, so many people with different personality, and I have to be brave and on my own track. Sometimes I feel that I am excommunicated from most of people, because I am not like them. I always feel that I am really different. I have a few friends who are comfortable with me--I mean, the real me. You know that in the real life, I am a quite one. I get embarrassed easily. And (the sad one), I don't smile a lot (I don't know why ._.). Besides, not everyone understands that I prefer to spend my time with myself. It's not like I am an anti-social. It's just waste so much energy for me when I have to interact with so many people at once. I have to be alone for a while. It's not like I don't need friends. I love friends. I love having new friends. But, yeah, sometimes social interaction just makes me so so tired...

Sometimes people consider me as an individualistic shit, but they just don't get it. They don't know that I've given them lots of my energy to them. I don't try to ignore them, it's just really hard for me. Beside, you know how society works. They be like, "Be yourself. Don't imitate others." After you be yourself, they will judge you--right or wrong. It happens to me. A lot. And sometimes it makes me feel bad about being myself.

When I gave my best at class, they judged me. When I wanted to spend my spare time in the library, they judged me. When I wrote some stories, they judged me. When I collected some things, they judged me. When I was so excited to tell them about my dreams, they judged me. My ears are so so so tired to hear those shits. It seems like I am a weirdo. I feel like I'm not normal. I feel like I don't belong there with them.

But then I tried to be more patient. I tried to be wise. I made my choice: ignoring them. I don't have any shits to give. But sometimes it's funny because when they judged me, they asked for helping them doing their assignments. And, yeah, I'd help them. There's nothing wrong to help others, even they don't do the same to me. Sometimes I feel sad and stupid because I ended up to help them. But, it's okay, I guess. I just have to be a better person from them.

People are so unique, yet so exhausting. I don't understand them. How can I understand them while I don't understand myself? So, I have to understand what am I first. What kind of things that I want to seek and reach? For whom I live? Why do I live? I often to talk to myself, asking those questions. And I keep searching for the answer.

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Anyway, I am so into a toy photography right now. I have a Yoshino nendoroid, and I love taking pictures of her! She's so cute!! >.<

follow my instagram for more pics! credits: mine

 See? See? So cute, right? So interesting! I've ordered a few toys already and can't wait for them to come! I can't wait to take some pics of them!!! >.< Say, do you have any unique hobby? Tell me what is it! ><

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There were so many fun and unforgettable moments for me in this past year. I had lots of lessons that I've learned: how to face people, hard choices, priority, and manage my time and emotions. I really hope I can learn more and always be myself. I hope you guys can be a better person. Be different. Be a positive one. Always be kind to others, even you know that people has so many faces. Be kind, but don't trust people easily, okay? Know that me, you, are a different ones. We are not ordinary. Know yourself. Love yourself. You are perfect with just being you.

Always wish me luck on my studies and dreams. Wish you guys lots of happiness to come!
Feel free for you to talk with me via facebook or any social medias I have (lol!).


Lots of love,
Dea