As what as I promised on the lastest post, I'm gonna post another post today. Well, from the title you must be know what I'll write down here.
First love. I'm sure that anyone ever has their own first love. My friends said that first love is someone who has been your first boyfriend/girlfriend. But, I guess that's wrong. That's so wrong in my definition.
But then I found the definition of first love, which is so similar with what I thought :
First love is:
"The one that you first truely have feelings for. One person that you will never forget, their love will leave an imprint on your heart which will be there forever. At the moment you dont care that you will eventually lose them after a break up because that emotion is amazing. Falling in love was the best thing that has ever happened to me, but now that its gone I feel hopeless. Your first love will be one who will be the hardest to get over, the one that can still make you smile even when your having the worst day ever, and the one who after breaking you, you'll still love them. Your first love never leaves.
He was my first love and now we are over but I still love him. " -- source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/
Yes, that's it. that's so true. To be honest I have a few of ex(s). But none of them that I really love. I just like them, that's all, not more. But then if you ask me, "If you don't love them so why did you accept them to be your boyfriend?" To be honest, my answer will be, "Because I don't want to hurt them,"
You may think that my attitude is cruel but....yeah, that's it.
But then, after a long time looking for the one that I really like, I finally found him. I found him when I was 16. Who is he?
He was my best friend. He was my long-distance-friend, who lives in America. The one who can make me smile like an idiot everytime I saw his name on my laptop screen. The one that I always wait just for giving me a birthday greeting every year. The one who made my heart beats so fast when he asked for my phone number.
The one that I've been waiting for these two years.
Minsung Tenzin.
.
It all started around 2010. We were a good friends. I love chatting with him, it was so fun because he always has the same interests with me. Both of us like blogging, writing, ulzzangs, K-Pop, J-Pop..... I was so excited. And that was my first time for having such a 'butterflies' here in my stomach. We chatted a lot and I didn't realize that it's 2011 already. My feelings to him grew bigger and bigger than ever.
That was my first time for falling in love.
.
When I thought everyhing's gonna be alright, but all of sudden, everything has changed a lot.
He left me behind. We lost contact.
I've tried to contact him for thousands, but he never answer. Never.
He's ever answered once, right after I texted him a 'Happy Birthday' greeting. But then, after I opened his message, he asked, "Who's this?"
BAM! My heart skipped a beat. You know, I cried a lot. I was so shocked! How come he replied me with that? My heart hurts----until now! That was my first time crying for a boy. My first time ever.
.
Time goes by, and it's almost two years already. I still can't forget him. This was my first time for not being able to forget someone who has hurt me. I don't know why. I don't know why I keep waiting for him until today. I just...........love him...
.
Sometimes I think that this is a karma for me. Yeah, I've left those people (my ex(s)) who really liked me. but meanwhile I kept lying to myself. I forced myself to like them back, but in fact I just hurt them.
.
Well, Minsung. I just want you to know that I miss you so much. I know, life goes on, but you--my first love, always stays here, in my heart,
my life,
forever.
I love you, Minsung, my first love. You are the one that I'll never forget. You are the one who has given me the meaning of how precious friends and love are.
I love you.
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